Sour Grapes and Schadenfreude

We’ve all heard the expression “sour grapes”. Although it’s familiar, most of us don’t really understand what its true meaning is. I heard twice, in the last several months, two well-educated women on news shows refer to someone being bummed about not getting something they wanted. The women said about this miffed attitude that “they were sour grapes”. Well that’s actually only half the story.

What is the story? It’s actually from an Aesop’s Fable, “The Fox and the Grapes.”  Aesop, according to Greek historian, Herodotus, was a slave in ancient Greece. His fables were told orally and only hundreds of years later written down. The story goes like this: A fox sees some delectable grapes hanging from a high vine. Since the grapes look irresistible, he decides that he must have them at all costs. He tries and tries to get them down but to no avail. He concludes out loud for anyone to hear that the grapes weren’t any good after all. Indeed, they were certainly sour grapes and he’s glad he didn’t eat them. So it’s not just that someone is jealous and says “Oh, I didn’t really want that good thing.” but rather, “sour grapes” means if I couldn’t attain it, it wasn’t worthwhile in the first place. The prize was actually no good.
This makes me think of another misunderstood label. Ever hear of “schadenfreude?” The usage of this German term was first heard in English publications in the 1850s but it has become a pet term used by the well-educated everywhere in the last 10 years. Schadenfreude means to feel joy from others’ misfortunes. Schaden – harm, freude – joy…literally “harm-joy” in the Germanic linguistic tradition of creating compound words by linking two words together.
I keep thinking that these two terms have a lot in common. But what?
Sour grapes means I can’t bear the thought of someone else having a good thing that I wanted so I pretend it was worthless. Schadenfreude says, “Those others who have had what I wanted have just been dumped on so I will celebrate.” Mmm…do both stem from jealousy? Jealousy stems from lack of contentment, and low self esteem.
There seems to be a rise in the use of “schadenfreude”. Why is the word “schadenfreude” getting more attention?
Well, people get offended. Their feelings are out there on the world wide web. Social media gives us a platform for venting our negative feelings. Furthermore, the support of others online who sympathize with us encourages our feelings. Only in the last ten years or so has the term increased in usage. Is it the new social media platform for launching deep seated malice that has always festered in the human heart? Or is it a change in the nature of our discourse? It is very easy to criticize others when you’re not face to face. There is a comfortable anonymity on social media. And because of social media, and our entertainment driven society, we are more aware of our shortcomings and others’ apparent success. The root cause seems to be an insecurity, a feeling of being unsettled. “The grass is always greener”, right? But there is also a sense of wanting to mete out justice in some small way. “I don’t have so you shouldn’t either.  And I am the one who will attempt to punish you even if it is a behind the scenes kind of retribution… a personal delight in your misfortune.” People are quick to “point fingers” today, not as quick to “live and let live.” There’s an eagerness to pounce, to see people get their “comeuppance”.
Since these days most people steer their own course or decide their own truth, the traditional social mores have changed. We don’t leave justice to God because we either don’t believe in Him or we have no understanding of the traditional Judeo-Christian take on the world of “turning the other cheek”. If we feel inadequate or victimized, we don’t look up for help, we look sideways to help ourselves.
Let’s say that fox hung around long enough to see someone else get the grapes off the vine. Let’s say that as the fox watches “green with envy”, this someone comes crashing down to the ground. The fox would now do well to keep from mixing schadenfreude with sour grapes.

Shh…Did you hear that?

Untitled design (68)Say what?

Did I hear you right? Many of the words and expressions which we hear may sound strange to us and we wonder “where did that expression come from?” Some of these quirky treasures are actually bastardized forms of another word or phrase that got distorted by being heard wrong and the substitution is an expression which has survived.

Telephone and eggcorn

An eggcorn, the term coined in 2003, is a name for a word or expression which people have created by changing something that they misheard. For example, “eardropping” has, in some cases, mistakenly been substituted for “eavesdropping”.

Now this is a simple substitution. But there are more deliberate and involved linguistic creations which came about for simplicity’s sake.

Why does this happen? Well let’s give the illustration of the game “telephone”. Let’s say you are in middle school. Let’s say you are at a party or better yet in a drama class. It is quite likely that you will end up playing “telephone”. Now for those of you who are not familiar with this game, I will explain. It’s not going on social media with your phone. It is not pretending to use an antique, dinosaur communication device of the 1980s and prior…(“how does this thing work??”) It is sitting in a circle with others, as one person whispers a phrase or sentence into the ear of the person next to them. This person then whispers what they hear to their neighbor and so on until the phrase has passed entirely around the circle. The last person says what they heard aloud. And of course 90% of the time it is completely garbled. However! It isn’t just gibberish which they say. No! Everyone wants to be right so they tweak the message with just enough sense to make it sound plausible. So, for example, “I like lots of ice cream.” becomes, “I eat chocolate ice cream.” And so the progression happens.

Green Grow

As these substitutions have occurred many times in our linguistic past, we have created new and colorful English expressions. One of my favorite stories of word substitutions is the origin of the word, gringo. A gringo is a Mexican slang word for a man from north of the Mexican border. The story goes that the homesick yankees, or American soldiers, during the Mexican-American war of 1846-48, would sing a favorite song based on a Robert Burns poem. The lyrics were:

Green grow the rashes, O
Green grow the rashes, O
The sweetest hours that e’er I spend
Are spent among the lasses, O.

The Mexican men who heard them singing the song thought that “green grow” sounded like “gringo” and thus this term for Americans was invented. You can’t beat this story for color and “scope for the imagination” as Anne with an E would say.


Hocus-pocus is the word which has been used to signal the transformation of one thing into another through magic, or slight of hand. The best explanation for the invention of this catchy phrase appears to be the corruption of Latin “Hoc est corpus” meaning “this is my body”, the words spoken by the priest when the bread is said to change into the body of Christ during the Catholic Mass. Obviously the Post-Reformation nonbelievers thought that the transformation was pure trickery and thus it became the catchword of the world of magic tricks. Magicians and entertaining tricksters, in days gone by, said it when making things disappear or appear, as in rabbits out of a hat.

Transformed Taverns

According to Samuel Pepys, 17th century member of the British Parliament, the pub is the “heart of England.” Pub is short for public house.  The Romans, who happened to be occupying Celtic England until about 410 A. D., began the custom of setting up shops along the Roman roads. A “taberna”, or shop, was the forerunner of the tavern or pub. Later, these establishments were actually set up by the English government to provide refreshment and lodging for travelers. In the Middle Ages, travelers on these now British roads would likely be on pilgrimage to a holy site and indeed some of the pubs or taverns had religious sounding names. The locals, however, had their own way with the formal sounding tavern names. God Encompasses Us over time turned into the popular tavern, Goat and Compasses. A favorite restaurant even in the U.S., The Pig and Whistle, is derived from the Norse name Piga Waes Hael, or “Hail to the Virgin”. (So the curiosity about that favorite childhood eatery with the goofy name, Pig and Whistle, has been personally satisfied in this knowledge.)  Lastly, Bacchanals, the name being a reference to Bacchus, Greek god of wine, became Bag o’ Nails and La Infanta de Castilla, after the Spanish princess, morphed into The Elephant and Castle. The English locals, especially after a few cold ones, were very creative indeed.

Shipley, Joseph T., In Praise of English. Times Books, 1977

Prissy Grammar

Copy of UntitledSay what?

We’ve come a long way since the usage of “shall” and “will” (when do you use which?) and other cumbersome grammar albatrosses. But wait! The fear of speaking like a commoner still exists. By trying to sound proper, people can actually use the incorrect forms of pronouns. It’s like trying to “make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” so to speak.

For example, how many times do you hear people say something like, “They’re taking Brad and I to the game.” Well c’mon, if Brad weren’t going, you wouldn’t say, “They’re taking I to the game.” So you see it doesn’t fit there. It’s not an object of the verb take. It makes no sense. But somehow it sounds proper. It’s almost offensive to use “me” in polite company these days.

“I” is not just overused when supplied as a “direct object” of a verb. It’s also wrongly used as an object of a preposition. As in, “She gave the book to Paige and I.” Well darn it, if she wasn’t giving it to Paige as well, you wouldn’t say, “She gave the book to I.” That would be very prissy indeed.

I say celebrate “me”. After all, there are “Celebrate Me” events. There are generations of people identified as the “Me Generation” – baby boomers, generation X, generation Y. We’re all guilty. Let’s embrace our me – ness and use this comfortable and apt little pronoun!

Now, at the risk of offending further, I will venture forth into the pronunciation of “often”. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems that sounding the [t] in the word, smacks of grammatical elitism. Unless you were raised to sound the [t] in “often”, you probably added that pronunciation to your vocabulary when you decided you needed to impress the right people (ouch). Both pronunciations are acceptable according to Merriam Webster. But if you’re trying to sound like you’re using the “queen’s English”, keep in mind that even Queen Elizabeth I pronounced “often” without the [t] sound. I am sure that the daring Virgin Queen would be pleased to know that the famous excerpt from her speech at Tilbury, “I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.”, is quoted often.